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Keith G. Alderman

  • The Beginning


    The Beginning

    Chapter 1

    Sunlight bounced along the cool water’s glassy face, and the air shimmered like fireflies. A dragonfly careened downward, banked left and dove for a landing on the jutting-out end of a cattail. It halted in perfect standstill grace while a ladyfish jumped from underneath it, waved “hello” to the clouds and sky, and with a smack on her side, fell back into the creek. Ripples sent every which way, as she either evaded some unseen predator or merely pranced for joy in the morning sun’s glory. Marian Dolor watched her jump and splash, her hearing numbed by the buzzing wind and rumbling road beneath the family sedan. Pellicer Creek flashed away. A deluge of trees—pine, palm, and pepper—came in front of her, zipping by in a blur of green and brown. It was only a few more minutes before the trees disappeared, too. The family pulled off the interstate, and a new city wrapped around the car. 

    Marian sighed and slunk into her seat. She was only ten-years-old, but had made up in her mind that her previous house was the home she was going to live in forever. A new home can be tough on anyone. But it’s especially tough when your parents don’t give you any choice in the matter. It was hard to watch the new town unfold before her. New house, new room, new street, new school, new principal, new teacher, new school bus, new ice-cream shop, park, church, friends. That was a lot of new. And no matter the amount of excitement, there was always a tinge of fear rounding the far edge of it. It felt like her first time swimming in Tavenier on Molasses Key—darting fish, vibrant coral, gliding sea turtles everywhere, but always in the back of her mind, this haunting feeling that somewhere out there on the perimeter was the elusive shark king, never seen, but always felt, waiting to ambush, strike, and kill. 

    She shook her head and giggled. She had a terrible knack for letting her thoughts run too far sometimes. This move was going to be fun. What was she worried about? Dad had taken a new job in St. Augustine, Florida. Something with “electricians”, “technicians”, or “superstitions”. And Mom had promised the city was full of beautiful sights for Marian to help with filling her portfolio. One of Mom’s last photos ended up inside of the local movie theatre.

    This was going to be good. Beginnings are always good. They are the purest form of hope. They hold dreams and wonder without the pain of what yesterday brought. Rarely is the end seen from the beginning, the journey guessed in its entirety, or the trials known in their complexity, but that is what makes the beginning of an adventure both thrilling and terrifying. No matter how many mistakes there are on it, they can always lead to greater things. Though they carry us through trial and error, heartache and sorrow, they also take us through hope and perseverance, leading to that wonder and glory everyone was made for, but few ever reach. And this adventure that they set out upon is the story of how the Dolor children made a terrible mistake, but saved the world because of it.

    The new home was a colonial, three-stories of rickety old wood slats running vertically, painted blue and green, and wrapped by a porch on three sides. Clay shingles pivoted over the attic and formed a pointed top that gave the whole thing a reminiscence of a historic tower. It felt imposing at the end of Flagler Road, along Twenty-Second Street. A beaten patio was attached to the southern end, on the kitchen, centuries after the home was erected. It had the kind of door that slapped shut but never latched properly. Overhanging it were the thick and ominous arms of an ancient live-oak. Its branches loomed over the yard on the front, side, and back, like a mother to her hens, and reached their fingertips higher than the top of the attic. On the perimeter of the backyard ran a forest of oaks and maples for miles north and south, hemming the rear-end of every house, building and street in the city, up over the horizon, and disappearing on the weakness of eyes. On the front of the nearest tree-line, was a wild dressing of pandora and passion vine that covered a high brick wall in green lattice and purple flowers. 

    Marian was the oldest and inherited her father’s height, standing one and half feet taller than her siblings. Esther was eight-years-old, but stood only half an inch over her younger brother, so she always put her hair in pig-tails to give herself an extra couple inches. Both girls unpacked their things on the second floor. With quick and fervent effort, they filled their room with toys, swords, shields, dolls, lamps, enough stuffed animals to cover two bunk beds, a pink rug, white-laced curtains, and a karaoke machine. On their dresser, a fish named Sparkles swam in a white and pink cubed fish tank, and a leopard gecko named Lemon slept under a rock in a terrarium. 

    Herbert Dolor was six-years-old, tough, ornery, and wild when at home, but sweet, gentle, and shy when out of his element. He unpacked his things into the converted attic one story above his sisters. There were two windows, split by French-cut beams, onlooking the front and back yards, the road out one, and the live-oak obscuring the view out the other. Wedging a lollipop between his cheek and jawbone, Herbert pondered where best to put his dinosaur collection. The setting sun glanced off his round glasses and drew his attention to the back window. Climbing on top of an unopened box and looking through the spindly branches and thousand shaking leaves of the oak, he stared at the row of trees lining the forest. Pines and palms stuck their brilliant heads through the criss-crossing branches, and the long line of passion and pandora vine wrapped over the brick wall. His eyes made out the rough edges of an iron gate protruding from the wall and covered in the vine lattice.


    On their first night in the house, Mr. and Mrs. Dolor let the children stay up late with pizza, popcorn and a movie. Sometimes, parents do fun, comfy things to make their kids feel happier and relaxed. And eating junk food can make any tough day feel better. But sometimes staying up reallylate makes it hard to fall asleep. 

    St. Augustine was quiet, and the sound of silence was deafening. Sirens and train-tracks put the kids to sleep in their last town, Cocoa. Here the floor-boards and crickets were ten-times louder. Herbert was afraid to sleep alone on the third floor, so all three bunked on the second. The girls slept in their beds and Herbert on their floor.

    “What are we doing tomorrow, Marian?” Esther whispered through the mattress.

    “Mom says we are going to a new school,” said Marian.“It’s called San Juan Bautista Elementary.” 

    “I don’t want to go to a new school.”

    “Well, you’ve got it easy. Nothing but multiplication and long division. Wait ’til you get to fifth-grade. I’ve got fractions, electricity, and essays.”

    “I like math and reading. It’s not that…it’s the other kids.”

    “I miss our friends, too. But we might as well get used to it.”

    “I like reading-time,” said Herbert. He startled both of the girls, who thought he was asleep.

    “I’m sure they will have plenty of reading-time at the new school,” said Marian.

    “Did you guys see the woods out back?” Herbert asked.

    “No—”

    “I did!” exclaimed Esther. “They look extraordinary.”

    “I want to play in them all day.”

    “We can climb that tree and make a treehouse!”

    “And color pictures in it!”

    “And do our homework in it…”

    “Oh,” Esther said. “We have school all day.”

    “Well, then we will play in it after school.” Herbert shouted.

    “Shh!” Marian hushed them, rolling over and peering at Herbert below. “Do you want Mom and Dad to hear us?!” 

    “We can talk as loud as we want,” Esther said. “They aren’t even on this floor.”

    Marian didn’t reply, and Esther knew she was acting asleep. She best go to bed, anyway. Herbert lay wide awake on the floor. His mind racing in thoughts about the backyard. The forest went as far as he could imagine, and he wanted to see that iron gate up close.


    I don’t know if you’ve ever had to wait for the school bus in the morning, but it can be a very adventurous time. For starters, it’s so early in the morning that the cars aren’t really racing about yet. The world is still sleepy, and the sun is only high enough to make it shimmer, but not shine. It’s easy to listen to and spot animals like soaring herons, grumpy ibis, jittery squirrels, and raccoons crossing the road on their way to bed. And it’s easy to catch grasshoppers and ladybugs who come out to sip on the dewy grass. What makes it even more exciting is that the longer the bus is late (which it always is), a hope grows that it may never show up, and you get to skip school without it being your fault. 

    On this particular morning, the clouds hovered close to the earth and formed a thick, cold fog up and down the lane. The Dolor children were at the corner of Twenty-second and Chase Hammock. The girls huddled together to stay warm while Herbert counted how many footsteps it took him from one end of the block to the other. Another boy stood across the road waiting, but he refused to speak to them.

    I don’t know if I said it yet, but it was the middle of February, which meant it was chilly outside in the morning before the sun came up. But also meant it was all the more annoying to start a new school when all the other kids have already made friends and are comfortable in their classrooms without you.

    “What’s the bus number?” Herbert asked.

    “Herbert, don’t go so far down the street,” said Marian.

    “Thirteen-fourteen,” Esther answered him.

    Herbert turned around in the grass and walked next to the street with his eyes closed. He was counting his steps out loud.

    “Where did you three come from?” The boy across the street called to them. He had shaggy red hair and a race-car on his shirt. 

    “We just moved from Cocoa.” Marian smiled at him. 

    “Cocoa? Where’s that?” Half the boy’s mouth curled up and his eye squinted.

    “It’s in Florida,” Marian replied.

    “Never heard of it.” The boy looked down the road. “Must not be a very special town.”

    Esther furrowed her brow at him. She loved her hometown. It’s where they grew up, and its name reminded her of hot chocolate on frosty nights by the campfire. She rubbed her hands on her favorite Batgirl tee-shirt and yelled out to Herbert, “Don’t go so far, Herbert!” 

    Herbert finished counting and opened his eyes. He was ten steps short. 

    Marian tried at being nice to the boy. “I’m Marian,” she said. “And this is my sister Esther and our little brother Herbert. What’s your na—”

    “Herbie?!” The boy’s eyes grew huge and his mouth opened wide. “What kind of name is Herbie?”

    Herbert dropped his eyes and pursed his lips. Esther smiled and put her arm around him. 

    “Well, his name is Herbert,” Marian corrected. “And what’s your name?”

    “Aaron,” the boy replied, and looked down the road again.

    Honk!

    The Dolor children jumped, turning to see a large black truck aimed at them. Its bright headlights shone in Herbert’s eyes. They were standing in someone’s driveway, and that someone was trying to leave for work. The kids moved into the grass. Marian looked back at Aaron. He continued staring down the road.

    “What’s our bus number?” Herbert asked again.

    “Thirteen-fourteen,” Esther repeated.


    The smell of leather, rubber, and old cloth filled the Dolor children’s noses. The wheels rolled on the asphalt. The brakes squealed at the next stop. Steam rose from under the hood and a puff of black carbon monoxide exploded from the tailpipe. The accordion door opened. Four more kids entered the bus and found seats. 

    The door shut. A gear thudded, and the bus thrust a step forward, paused, hiccuped, and took off for the next stop. On and on this went, until twenty-five kids were on the bus, waiting to arrive at San Juan Bautista Elementary. 

    The bus was a cacophony of noises, shouts, squeals, and laughter. Herbert sat, quiet and alone, in the middle of the bus. The girls sat at the back, making conversation with another young lady named Bethany.

    The bus stopped again and let on another group.

    “What is that smell?” A shout from the front.

    “It smells terrible!” Came another howl.

    A high-pitched shriek came from the tantrum. “There’s poop in the aisle!”

    In an instant, all the boys and girls were jumping up and looking at the aisle. Fingers pointed. Accusations rose. Fights threatened. Everyone wanted to know where it came from and who did it.

    The bus-driver, Mr. Cunningham, stood up and hollered for silence. Every boy and girl shot down into their seats while snickering and whispering ensued. He looked at the aisle and sure enough, the excrement stamp of a shoe made its way down the bus.  

    “Everyone stay seated,” Mr. Cunningham said. He took a step and looked at the feet of the three kids in Seat One and Two. Nothing there. 

    He took a step and looked at the four in Seat Three and Four. Nothing. 

    The snickering and whispering grew in volume, and every boy and girl looked at their partner’s foot. Herbert looked at his feet, and to his horror, the brown filth of what once belonged to a dog at the house he waited in front of covered his right sneaker. The blood rushed from his face. He looked up and saw Mr. Cunningham only a few aisles from him. He clutched his backpack in his lap, and his heart raced. 

    Mr. Cunningham stood between Seat Eleven and Twelve. Only one more before Herbert’s. He shifted his left foot and pinned his right between it and the wall of the bus. His eyes stared at the back of the seat in front of him. 

    Mr. Cunningham stepped forward and looked at his feet. Then he looked at seat Twelve. Then he took a step to Thirteen and Fourteen. 

    Herbert closed his eyes and exhaled. Mr. Cunningham continued on his way back to the end of the bus. He sighed and shook his head, hurrying up the aisle and watching his step as he went. 

    “Who is it?!” A boy’s voice hollered.

    The bus kicked into gear. Thrust, stop, hiccup, roll. The boys and girls once again laughed, pointed, and accused. 

    After a few minutes, the elementary school came into sight. The bus veered into the bus loop, and thirteen-fourteen parked behind twenty-one-oh-four. Every student stood at their seat like packed hens in a coop, and the accordion door swung open. The line crawled down the aisle while Herbert watched and waited for his sisters to meet him at Seat Eleven. 

    “Esther,” Herbert whispered in her ear. She looked away from her new friend and smiled at him. “It’s me, Esther. I have the poop-shoe.” 

    Her eyes grew enormous. “Okay,” she whispered. “Stand behind me.”

    The chicken line dragged on, and Herbert saw the end. Maybe, if he could get off the bus behind Esther, he could hide his feet in the grass quick enough that no one would notice. He’d have to get behind those bushes and clean his shoes. But he feared Mr. Cunningham’s disappointment on his first day and dreaded the sound of that laughter directed at him.

    “Just stay behind me,” Esther said. 

    Through the window, Herbert saw a group of boys gathering on the side of the school. They were waiting and jeering about something.

    Esther stepped off the bus. 

    “Oh, it’s Herbie!” A voice hollered. 

    Herbert’s eyes shot forward in fear. He looked down at his feet and saw the brown-stained shoe, bright and hideous in the sunlight. The group of boys were laughing and pointing. One danced like a buffoon and mocked his name again and again. It was Aaron. 

    “Herbie stepped in the poop!” they shouted. “Herbie stepped in the poop!”

    Tears filled Herbert’s eyes. Esther shot around to help him, but he was gone. Marian lumbered down the bus like an angry brute. She was six months older and two inches taller than Aaron, and didn’t appreciate the way he made her brother feel. Aaron, laughing hysterically, didn’t even notice Marian squarely walk up to him before punching him in the face and dropping him to his knees. 

    The other boys laughed and encouraged Aaron to strike her back. Scowling and barking, he leapt to his feet to say something ugly.

    “Enough!” Mr. Cunningham shouted. “Get to class, all of you!” 

    Marian was lucky. Not because she didn’t have to fight Aaron—she’d probably do pretty well against him—but because teachers seem to send kids to the Principal’s Office for anything these days and hitting another student would definitely permit it. It would be a terrible thing to start your new school year with a detention or referral. 

    Esther and Marian looked for Herbert, but never found him. They considered waiting outside the school for him, but a lady with a short black haircut and stern face ordered them to class. 

    In his absence, Herbert found a bush to cry inside of, before attempting to clean his shoe in the grass and dirt. It wasn’t working very well until a lady from the nurse’s office found him. She invited him into the office to clean his shoe in a sink. After which, he went back to his class to meet his new teacher, Mrs. Taylor. 


    The kids thought they would see each other again at lunchtime, but Bautista Elem. has a strange block schedule that kept them from one another. This probably hurt Esther the most on their first day. 

    Esther has the most common-sense of the three Dolor children. But she’s also the quietest, smallest and most tender-hearted. At lunchtime, she stood pressed up against the wall outside the cafeteria, waiting with her class to enter. She clutched the three dollars and fifty cents Mrs. Dolor handed her for lunch. A list of food options and prices confused her as the line grew shorter and shorter.

    “Excuse me,” Esther asked the boy in front of her. “Do you know what we should buy for lunch?”

    The boy’s forehead wrinkled, and he looked at his friend. They chuckled together. Esther didn’t understand the joke. 

    “Whatever you want,” the boy said, and turned away.

    She looked down and sighed. Three girlfriends chatted behind her. She turned to face them, hoping to join in the conversation. One’s eye caught Esther, and the group looked at her. The one closest to her looked down at Esther’s Batgirl tee that read: “I’m a Superhero!”, and then back at Esther’s face. Esther smiled, about to greet them. 

    “You’re not cool,” the girl said, icily. The other two girls laughed, and the first looked away and continued the conversation without Esther. 

    Esther wanted to cry her eyes out, but couldn’t. Where was she? Why would her parents send her to a place like this? She wanted to be with her friends back at home so badly and missed the halls she knew. She missed knowing what was for lunch and being able to pronounce her teacher’s name without looking like a fool. In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to curl up and die. 


    On the bus ride home, all three Dolor children sat together. Without a word, each agreed never to split up again. This first day of school was the worst they had ever experienced. 

    Marian was miserable, too. In Mr. Oulette’s class, she made a fool of herself when she didn’t know the name of an ocean. The class didn’t laugh out loud, but she heard snide remarks and felt everyone staring at the back of her head all day. 

    No matter what Esther did, she couldn’t remove the cutting words from her head. She was “not cool”. It felt like the time a yellow jacket ran up her leg and stung her a dozen times. An agonizing, swelling pain that creeps along your body from within. Mr. Dolor had to tie up her leg with vinegar and a tourniquet when that happened. She wondered what kind of medicine could fix her broken heart.

    Herbert couldn’t stop thinking about how the bus ride began. He would never look Mr. Cunningham in the eyes again, and all the kids on the bus knew him for all the wrong reasons. 

    Their new school was a nightmare. Things needed to change fast for the Dolor children.


  • Chapter Ten

    Fox Island


    Fox Island

    Chapter 10

    Evening collapsed, and the sun disappeared behind the mountain. Fox smelled the air; harsh yet pleasant, like sweetgrass caught up in it. A commotion arose at the tree-line. Villagers bounded out of the forest and passed them on the path—a large company racing to the south.

    Someone half-heartedly stopped and conversed with Arvor. Arvor was stoic, but Fox sensed an invisible weight on his shoulders. He attempted at receiving more information, but the man was too feverish and already several yards from the two of them. Arvor’s head drooped, and he cursed under his breath.

    “What is happening?” Fox asked.

    “They think the light of hope has returned to the island,” Arvor said. “Many believe it may have come with you.” 

    Fox’s brow furrowed. He looked at the villagers brushing passed. They raced by, yet gazed and smiled at him as they went. 

    “I do not understand,” Fox replied. “Why is hope gone? And why would you believe I am significant enough to make it return?”

    “Hope is from the stars,” Arvor replied. “It’s unnatural and doesn’t reward often. And I didn’t say that I believed it.”

    “Where are they going?” 

    “—to the Marshlands.”

    Fox sensed the apprehension.

    “It was said long ago,” Arvor explained, “that the hope of the Eagle and the cunning of the Fox would meet at Jikanei’s table. They would appease him at last. And the light will shine in the darkness. Those running are those who will to catch the hope.”

    “Can you take me?”

    The night thickened while the two men came down the mountain. The shadows swindled Fox of his sense of direction for most of the trip. He trusted Arvor finding the path in the darkness. It was rocky and unsympathetic; it bruised his ankles and bloodied his shins. Yet he never took his eyes off of Arvor, the only thing keeping him from being lost forever.

    The path evened out; the men entered a glade, and Fox felt a bed of leaves under his loafers. Moonlight shone on his back; they were at the bottom of the mountain. A few more steps and a large canopy concealed the light again. Fox’s eyes remained locked to Arvor’s bobbing head and shoulders. 

    Shouts of joy and elation sprung from the darkness; miles away men and women were excited about some unseen discovery. The two men came out of the forest. Wet grass brushed his ankles; Clouds shrouded the moon, but Fox knew he was in a field. He smelled the bog now and wondered how much longer it would be.

    Arvor dropped into a field of bahia and Fox reciprocated. He wondered if this were the same field he came through before meeting the Liberi.

    The two sat, listening to the party ahead of them in the darkness. Fox grew restless.

    “No one knows what to expect anymore,” Arvor said. His voice startled Fox. “But your presence has made some hope again. The light is the thing that has made many excited.” 

    Fox remained silent.

    “Do you know what I am speaking of?”

    “How could I know about any of this?” 

    He didn’t see Arvor, but recognized he disappointed him.

    The men crept forward beside a large rock enclave. Arvor climbed the obstruction and whispered for Fox to follow. Fox hadn’t learned the art of Arvor’s acrobatics yet and stumbled up. The rock was fibrous and sharp like coquina and scratched his palms. Fox knew where he was. He looked about. In the daytime he would spot the monolith hovering nearby.

    Arvor demanded his attention. He bowed his head under a cedar’s limb and lifted it for Fox to come after. When Fox lifted his head underneath, the stench of the marsh hit him like a freight train. Jerking his head away, he gasped for air and spat on the ground. 

    He coughed and apologized to Arvor. When he lifted his head again, he saw many flickering candlelights bobbing and blinking in the darkness; the lanterns of the villagers searching in the marsh, moving to and fro about the sawgrass and dead banana trees. 

    “What are they doing?” Fox asked.

    “They are searching for hope,” Arvor replied.

    “Where?”

    Arvor scanned the horizon. “There!” He pointed to the north of the marsh, left of the villagers. 

    Fox’s mouth fell. He wondered for a moment whether he was dreaming or hallucinating, but every second gave way to reluctant acceptance. A blue glowing orb was floating in the sawgrass, at the center of the marsh. Its light illuminated the grass in greens, blues, and yellows, flickering like a wick dancing in the wind. 

    “They believe it’s the hope of Aquilei,” Arvor said.

    The light held still and shone brightly before a squeal of excitement caught the company and Fox saw the candles converging toward the blue glow. The people were full of joy and delight; Fox imagined them dancing and singing as they raced through the swamp. But it disturbed him. None of it seemed holy.

    A dozen candles were approaching the blue orb. Then it disappeared. The company stopped. The laughter ceased. Silence fell and Fox could hear only Arvor’s breathing. 

    A blinding red light flooded the swampland at the same whereabouts the blue orb was. The light rose and trailed a length of fiery red light behind it. It slithered at a gallop toward the closest candle. In a moment it snuffed the candle out. A shrill chaotic scream came from the darkness, and then silence. Orders were shouted, people hollered. Fox envisioned the confusion in the bog and earnest inquiries being made. 

    The trailing red light struck again, sailing through the weeds to the next candle. It was snuffed out and another scream. The light grew brighter and raced after another candle and another. Soon a dozen candles were out. Fox heard the sound of feet sloshing out of the bog, running for their lives. Another instant and all the candles were out; silence was ringing in Fox’s ears. 

    Arvor dropped the cedar branch and let it fall between the men and the incident below. He turned away. “This is what hope gets us,” he mused. “Jikanei has sent Mboî-tatá to teach us again.” 

    “You’re talking about the will-o’-the-wisp?”

    “Fox is confusing.” 

    “Where I’m from people say the will-o-the-wisp gives travelers false hope and drowns them in the marsh.” 

    “I suppose Mboî-tatá could have a different name,” Arvor conceded. “But I wouldn’t tell her that.”

    Thunder struck, and lightning lit the sky. Fox saw the company returning from the marsh. Their faces were drab and spirits crestfallen. Rain fell.

    “Were any lost?” Fox whispered.

    “I’m sure many were,” Arvor replied.

    “Should we try to help them?” 

    “The rain will only grow worse.” He stood to his feet. “We should return.”

    Out of the darkness rose a long and dreary cry, metallic and breathy, from the lungs of some ancient demon in Fox’s past. Both he and Arvor turned their heads to the east, back into the marsh. The sound trailed off and disappeared. The two men looked at one another and continued on in silence. 

    Alone in the darkness, the rain pattered on their heads and a steady stream ran under their feet from the mountain above. “What did Ina mean,” Fox asked, “when she said the Voice called her daughter?”

    “All life is taken at some point,” Arvor responded. “Just as all life is given.”

    “What was the will-o’-the-wisp? Is Jikanei real?”

    “Fox is confusing.” 

    Fox cursed in English. The discussion of myths with a person who absolutely trusted in them was nerve-racking. 

    “I mean—” Fox thought for a moment. The two passed under a thicket and Fox sniffed sugar maple. “Is Jikanei like the simor and tori (the monkeys and birds)? Can you touch Jikanei or is he in the clouds?”

    “Jikanei is all around us, but he lies beyond the Marshlands.”

    Fox changed the subject. 

    “If all life is given, and all life is taken away, who is giving and taking?”

    Fox wondered if he offended him. After a few minutes, Arvor seemed to make up his mind. “Watanei—the Sky-god—gives life,” he said. “Jikanei is the end of life.” 

    “Where is Watanei, the Sky-god?”

    “I see what you ask. Watanei is in the clouds, as you say. Jikanei is beyond the Marshlands, from where you came.”

    “—and the Voice?”

    Arvor was silent.

    The village glowed on the horizon; Fox stopped walking. “What happened to the children, Arvor?”

    Arvor looked at him. The village’s amber glow illuminated half of his face.

    “Why are there so few children among the Liberi?” Fox pressed again.

    Arvor sighed. “The Sky-god made Koh. He made the sky, the river, the tree. All that he has made is worth living. He made the monkey, the eagle, the fox and the jika. They are the ones who come before us. That which isn’t worth living is taken beyond the Marshlands.” 

    “And that is where Jikanei is?”

    “Yes.”

    “And Jikanei is the end of life?”

    “Yes.”

    “Are people sacrificed to Jikanei—is that what happened tonight? Is that what happened to Ina’s daughter?”

    Arvor was silent.

    “Is Jikanei like the animals or is he in the clouds too? Does he come to people while they sleep in their dreams, or do others take them to him to make him happy?”

    Arvor didn’t respond.

    “How did the children perish?”

    “Those things that the Voice tells us to take to Jikanei—we do not discuss any longer. They are unworthy.”

    “What makes them unworthy?”

    In all the time Fox was with Arvor, he never witnessed this emotion in his eyes. He was sad. He whispered, “Only the Voice knows that. He is Watano—the Voice of the Sky-god. The one who tells us when the morning rises and when the darkness falls.” 

    His sadness disturbed Fox. He could not shake the feeling that something ominous was around the corner of discovery. “Where can I find Watano?”

    “In a place called Uada. But you cannot go there.”

    “You said once it was nearby—”

    Arvor’s discomfort was unbearable; he hated the conversation but loved Fox. For the first time since their meeting, Arvor left Fox’s side and wandered away into the darkness alone.




  • Chapter Nine

    Fox Island


    Fox Island

    Chapter 9

    Thereafter, the friendship changed; the two men laughed often, and Arvor’s reluctant behaviour gave way to authenticity. His personality shone to Fox’s delight, who no longer questioned Arvor’s brotherhood. He postured himself as one with another they love—their gate, speech, and attitude jovial and relaxed, both formal and informal, honorable and frivolous. For the first time in a month, Fox felt at home with the Liberi.

    Between the two, conversations of culture, politics, and religion abounded; Fox didn’t doubt Arvor was freely processing and sharing his custom and beliefs. The fresh wave of revelation brought with it a feeling that he was starting all over again; he no longer merely reasoned between words and language, but myth and reality, science and fantasy.

    Take, for example, the word: “Jika”. He had a monumental struggle to discern whether it was a reference to the Passing of Time itself, or the Principle of Decay. When I say, “Have a good time,” I do not mean “Have a good hour.” A moment or occurrence differs from an hour or minute. Yet both are referred to as “Time”. Furthermore, the decay that Time has on a subject differs from the growth and maturity one gains throughout it. A human body grows at a certain rate over “Time”. But the soul develops at a very different tempo. And oneself differs from another self. A child may grow to its full height by the age of sixteen, but it may take another until they are eighteen. Regardless, the maturity of the mind and emotions may develop far sooner for the latter than the former, and with zero correspondence to the growth of the body. 

    When Arvor spoke of Time (or Jika), he referenced things that could be the day, evening, month, and year, as well history, maturation, birth, and death. And the root word itself was in everything involving religion, belief, desire, dreams and goals, because all were tied to this loose idea that the occurrence and passing away of things is in everything. In a great sense, time and death were in everything. 

    One late morning, at messakoh, the two men visited the river where the women gathered water for the village. Fox found the work was simple. The place was in greater terms a haven for the women to find peace apart from uxorial duties. 

    The path emptied into an extraordinary field of yellow poppies. It spread four-hundred yards in all directions; fluttering butterflies and humdrumming bumblebees danced and bobbed on them. Beyond, the river ran out of an unfathomable trench, hidden under the arctic white spray of a thousand-foot fall; a lord over them. A cave hid behind the fall—the entrance to a world underneath the mountain. 

    Peacocks meandered the river’s edge; finches argued like worn married couples. A forest of weeping-willows gathered juxtapose the mountain-wall; their long gowns covered their delicate feet and kissed the pond. Down the river, a mill drudged the water for the women to carry back at their leisure. But none held Fox’s attention very long.

    He was astounded at the sight of three-hundred women, naiads no less, lying in the sun and wasting away the day. He recognized the supremacy of beauty the ancient Greeks spoke of; he was dumbstruck, bereft. The pleasingness and delicate flippancy ended any idea in him that women should labor. They were mantle-pieces and goddesses; a possession that is not a mere article one buys or earns. Instead, they were a possession one inherits, undeserved, unmerited, gifted by the gods. It made no logical sense to have a bride—just as little as having breath in your lungs or thoughts in your mind. He knew that if he looked too long, he would become intoxicated and a slave to their will; the sight would befall him like a coercion by Calypso and the nymphs.

    Fox turned away from the sight and fell to his knees. Arvor was nonplussed by his behavior. A moment passed and he collected himself, stood upright, carrying back to the village and away from the goddesses. 

    Off the footpath, he saw a woman pressed against an oak with a children’s blanket laying across her lap. She wiped her tears with it, whilst trembling under the shadow of the tree. 

    “Are you alright?” Fox asked, approaching her.

    “No, no, I am pleasant,” she said, furtively looking toward Arvor. “No need for help.”

    Fox noticed.

    Arvor was inscrutable. “Her name is Ina,” he said.

    “Why are you crying, Ina?” Fox asked her.

    Ina wiped her face and stood assertive. “I am missing my daughter.” 

    “Where is she?” Fox asked.

    “The Voice called for her.” She looked Arvor in the eyes. “She is gone now.”

    The late sun splintered through the fingertips of vast stretching grasses. A mist hovered over the meadow and dew collected on her ends. A footpath lay in its midst, where the two men leisured along. It was two days since meeting Ina, but her words infected Fox’s conscience. 

    “When I was on the beach,” Fox said, “I had a dream—you understand this?”

    Arvor nodded.

    Fox continued. “I was like a sandpiper, trapped in the middle of the bog. I couldn’t fly and all the ground was stuck to me. I did my best to hunt, but everything was either dead or gone. Then I heard a voice from the waves. It sprang up loud and haunting. It frightened me, but I was not in a nightmare. Then a second voice came; only a whisper and seductive. At first, I thought it was pleasanter, but in my heart I knew it was a nightmare—you understand this word nightmare?—good. The second voice came from the jungle and now both voices hovered over me. They began wrestling in the air above me, and all around me. I was so fixated on hunting in the bog, I didn’t pay them mind or try to escape. I merely kept still like I was going to sneak up on a minnow any moment. But there were no minnows left. Everything was already dead.”

    Arvor meekly smiled.

    “I had thought nothing of it until Ina described the one who called her daughter away as the Voice. What does that word mean to the Liberi?”

    Arvor nodded quietly. The men approached the end of the meadow and the path turned eastward along a forest. Arvor sat down on a tree stump. “I do not know the meaning of your dream,” Arvor said. “But I can remember a voice from the waves when I was a child. My guardians told me it was only a myth—there is nothing beyond the waves. But you are here, and you say that you came from places beyond the waves. I believe what I was told when I grew up, but I also believe you.

    “Who the Voice is—” Arvor continued. “He is a man like me, but greater than me. And we do not speak of him unless spoken to. We should end this conversation.”

    “I do not understand. Do you suppose a voice could be calling from out in the waves? I have heard a noise many times while on this island. One like a monster or dragon. One that I believe came from the mountain.”

    “The sound you have heard is a myth. And our only response is to not have heard it all.”

    “Does that mean you have heard it too?”

    “I do not hear that sound.”

    “Why do you call this man the Voice?”

    “He is the Voice of Watanei—the sky-god.”

    “Where is he?”

    “Nearby.” 

    “Can I meet him?”

    “—Hush!” Arvor straightened his back and looked into the jungle. He had his walking-stick in his hand and was jabbing it into the ground, nonchalantly.

    A man in sackcloth came from the jungle. Arvor rose to his feet in salutation. He strode a few paces away from Fox and spoke privately to him. The stranger was stern and ugly, like Arvor looked in the first weeks of knowing him. The stranger saluted Arvor and walked away, back into the forest. 

    Arvor looked at Fox as if to invite him over. The conversation was over. The two walked toward the village in silence.




  • Neighborhood Nightmare


    Neighborhood Nightmare

    Chapter 3

    The next morning, Marian, Esther, and Herbert munched on eggs, bacon, and tater tots in the kitchen. It was a teacher-work day, which meant no school for three whole days! Mrs. Dolor sipped on her coffee and watched the News in the nearest room. Mr. Dolor left earlier for work.

    “Do you think the ghost will come back if we visit the entrance again?” Esther asked.

    “I hope not,” Herbert replied. “But I do feel bad about letting those weird animals out. What do you think, Marian?” 

    Marian ignored them. She planned to finish her play today and hadn’t any desire to enter the forest. 

    “It’s Halloween in February,” the kids overheard the television in the other room. “…reports of the infamous Skunk-Ape have returned to St. Augustine.”

    The kids looked at one another and jumped from their stools, racing to the living-room.

    On the television, a woman with blonde curly hair, wearing a red blouse, reported from somewhere in the city. Cars drove and pedestrians walked by in the background. “Last night,” the lady continued, “…several accounts of the urban myth came into the local sheriff’s office here behind me.”

    The camera cut away to a clip of a skinny man with a straw hat and two missing teeth. His lips were moving, but the audio wasn’t up on his clip. 

    “…Local reports,” the lady reporter’s voice was over the clip of the straw-hat man. “…came during the midnight hour of Thursday night—”

    The man’s volume rose. “That’s what I seen, yeah,” he said confidently. “It looked like a big hairy man—but he was humongous—standing right there, right over there, on top a my neighbor’s house…”

    “…Also known as the ‘Swamp Sasquatch’,” the lady reporter continued, “…the Skunk-Ape’s sightings go as far back as 1960, and have recently returned to evergreen St. Augustine, FL…”

    A second clip appeared. This one of a large elderly woman in what appeared to be a nightgown. 

    “Oh, I’ve seen it many times in my life.” The woman closed her eyes like she was remembering. “…seven, eight-feet-tall, easily. It can jump as high as a five-story building. And it’s mean as a firecracker. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s mad at all them snakes and toxic waste ya’ll keep dumping out in the Everglades.”

    “What toxic waste?” The lady reporter asked her.

    “Mmm-hmm,” the woman responded. 

    The clip ended and cut back to the lady reporter, smiling. “The Skunk-Ape is famous in many parts of south-east America,” she said. “Most notably, being seen over the years in parts of Louisiana, Georgia, Alabama, and yes, of course, Florida. Only time will tell if Florida’s new mystery resident is one of fact…or myth. I’m Lucy Ransom, reporting live from downtown St. Augustine.”

    The shot cut away to the studio. A man in a suit with black hair was smiling. “Wow, that’s incredible stuff, Lucy,” the man said. “In other news—the weird just keeps getting weirder. Reports from members of the Flagler Equestrian Center for Beginners and Youngsters say they witnessed a unicorn riding alongside various ponies and stallions this morning. While no official photographs were taken, this eyewitness drawing from 7-year-old AnnaBelle Joy gives us an idea of what it may have looked like.”

    A picture of a little girl holding a crayon drawing came onto the television. The drawing was of a black horse with a white mane and long silver horn on its head. 

    The television clicked off.

    “Well, that’s a bunch of nonsense.” Mrs. Dolor took a sip of coffee and stood up from the couch. She turned from the screen and saw all six of her children’s eyes glued to the blank television. “You alright?”

    “Uh, yes!” Marian replied. 

    Mrs. Dolor laughed. “Hey, I’m sick of unpacking boxes,” she said. “Let’s do something fun! How about I get the pool and slip n’ slide out?”


    It’s remarkable how fast the Floridian wintry mornings can turn to sunny, sultry afternoons. It’s even more remarkable how refreshing cool water feels on such a hot afternoon. When you grow up, you rarely like water splashing you. Some people will say it ruins their hair or clothing. Others are concerned it will destroy the electronic devices they are carrying. But when you are a young, there’s not much more fun than soaking your brother or sister and being soaked in return.

    If you want to know a fantastic trick you can pull on your mom or dad or brother or sister, take a piece of Scotch tape and tie it around the hose on the kitchen sick. That way, when they go to turn on the sink next time, it will spray all over them. They may get mad, but it’s good for them. Sometimes, grown-ups need to act like children again. Don’t tell them I told you about it, though.

    Regardless, no matter how old you get, when the sun is baking your back, splashing cold water feels wonderful. It’s a lot of fun to sit in a pool and grab the garden hose and spray it straight up, so it rains down on top of you. It feels like a hot and cold shower, which you otherwise only experience at a water-park. 

    The pool and slip n’ slide took away all the thoughts of bad first days, bullies, monsters, and ghosts. Mrs. Dolor and the children played lifeguard, water-gun standoffs, and Marco Polo for hours. The world made sense again. Skunk-ape’s and unicorns were fictional. Nice kids, happy teachers, and easy questions existed in school. They just hadn’t been found yet. Ghosts weren’t real. Mom and Dad loved them. It all made sense. Though Esther secretly enjoyed believing in unicorns. 

    The bad thing about slip n’ slide afternoons is they end. And sometimes, they end with sudden unhappiness. That gloominess came today in the form of two cars pulling up to the house. Mr. Dolor got out of one vehicle and a stranger got out of the other. 

    “There’s my family!” Mr. Dolor cheered as he walked into the backyard. “I’ve got a special guest for dinner tonight. It’s my new boss, Mister—excuse me—Professor Ludwig Wolfgang. He just started today, and we really hit it off.”

    Mrs. Dolor smiled like she does when she wishes Mr. Dolor asked before he made a decision. “Oh, wonderful,” she said.

    Professor Ludwig Wolfgang stepped around the corner of the house behind Mr. Dolor. He wore a tight black suit, with a black shirt underneath. There was so much black clothing that he looked like he came from a funeral home. His hair was slicked straight back and shiny. When he smiled at the family and greeted them, two great big cuspids shown through on the corners of his mouth like a Great Dane.

    While the kids cleaned themselves up, Mrs. Dolor made dinner for the family and guest. Mr. Dolor and Professor Wolfgang talked about business and boring things on the couch and reclining chair. The living-room smelled of cigars and liquor.

    At suppertime, Mr. Dolor let Ludwig sit in his chair at the head of the table because he was the guest. Mrs. Dolor made spaghetti and meatballs with garlic toast. The kids’ favorite. Marian loved Mom’s special sauce. Esther loved the meatballs. Herbert loved to slurp the noodles from end to end through his lips.

    “Oh my,” said Professor Ludwig Wolfgang. “I didn’t know we would be served garlic toast.”

    “Is there something wrong, Professor?” Mrs. Dolor asked.

    “I’m terribly allergic to the stuff,” he replied.

    “Honey, why did you make garlic toast?” Mr. Dolor asked spitefully.

    “I’m sorry, Professor, I had no idea,” Mrs. Dolor replied. “Let me take that from you.” Then she turned to Mr. Dolor and glared at him. “If I had a little time to prepare, I could have cooked something a little more appropriate.” 

    “Thank you, it’s quite alright,” the Professor replied, shaking his hands in the air. “I believe I have a bit on my hands, though. Where is the restroom, please?” 

    “Herbert, can you show our guest to the bathroom?” Mr. Dolor asked with a smile. Herbert furrowed his brow and put his fork down. He led Professor Wolfgang around the corner.

    “I thought you already had a new boss,” Marian said.

    “Yes,” Mr. Dolor replied excitedly. “But this newer one that we just hired today is really going to take us places as a company! I’m very excited about his vision. We are going to begin looking at new real estate ASAP.”

    After dinner, The Professor entertained the Dolor parents with the piano in the study. Meanwhile, the children huddled in the downstairs bathroom. None of them thought well of Professor Ludwig Wolfgang and needed to tell each other why. 

    “After dinner, when he excused himself the third time,” Esther began, “I saw him go round the corner in the den. I peeked around because it just felt odd. He pulled something out of his pocket and was chewing on it. I am absolutely sure of it—it was a dead rat, and he was biting right into it.”

    “Ugh, that’s disgusting,” said Herbert. “When I took him to the bathroom the first time, he called me delectable. Isn’t that what grandma always calls her chocolate cookies?”

    “Shiny long teeth. Allergic to garlic. Wants to eat kids. And chewing a rat in his pocket. It’s settled, we know who—or what—he is,” Marian said. “And we need to tell Mom and Dad.”

    I’m sure you’ve already guessed what the Dolor children surmised. Professor Wolfgang wasn’t an ordinary man. He was a vampire. Let loose from the Enchanted Forest, no less. And it was their responsibility to warn their mother and father.

    The children found their parents in the living-room, as the Professor was finished with his piano playing. He had just excused himself for the fourth time to the restroom. Perfect! Now the kids could talk to their parents in private.

    “Mom. Dad. We have something to tell you,” Marian began.

    “What is it, honey?” Mrs. Dolor replied. She knew it was something serious from their formality. 

    Before the question was even out of her mother’s lips, Esther burst out, “Professor Wolfgang is a vampire!”

    “Yeah!” Herbert joined in. “He wants to eat me!” 

    “What?” Mr. Dolor said.

    “It’s true!” Marian jumped in. 

    “He’s got long teeth!”

    “And eats dead rats!”

    “And is afraid of garlic!” 

    “Kids,” Mr. Dolor said, and held up his palms.

    “And it’s not just that,” Marian began. “The news said it, too. A smelly gorilla—or skunk ape—whatever the news said. We saw it. On top of the house last night. And a unicorn with black hair and white mane.”

    “—And silver horn on its head!” Esther interrupted.

    “That’s right,” continued Marian. “It’s all real.

    “What are they talking about?” Mr. Dolor looked at their mother. 

    “It was something silly on the television this morning,” she replied. 

    “But it’s not silly,” Marian pleaded. “We broke open the gate outside.”

    “Into the Enchanted Forest!” Herbert explained.

    “And the ghost of Ponce de León told us that we let loose a bunch of monsters!” 

    “And we saw them run free,” Marian said. “Well, we saw the gorilla and unicorn.”

    “Okay, okay, okay,” Mr. Dolor tried not to shout. “That’s enough. We get it. It’s time for bed.”

    “But you don’t understand!” Marian begged. “Professor Wolfgang is one of them! He’s a vampire from the Enchanted Forest. And you can’t trust him.”

    “Enough, young lady!” Mr. Dolor’s face turned red when he realized that their guest had probably heard his outburst. He lowered his voice. “I know it isn’t easy living in a new town and going to a new school, but it will get easier—”

    “That isn’t it, Dad,” Marian tried once more. “I mean, yes, it isn’t fun—but—”

    “I don’t want to hear anymore of this,” he interrupted. “Get your pajamas on and get to bed. Now.”

    Marian slunk her head between her shoulders and shook it. Esther opened her mouth until she saw her mom’s face. Even Mrs. Dolor looked upset. Herbert was astonished. He took the longest to accept the fact that his parents wouldn’t listen. He stamped his feet on the ground four times before stomping off to his bedroom. It isn’t fair that no one listens to a ten, eight, and six-year-old when they say something contrary to what they believe. But that’s just the way life is. 

    The kids stopped at the bottom of the stairway, as Mrs. Dolor turned the evening news on to distract herself from the children’s outburst and her embarrassment. 

    “…a six-foot-tall swamp monster,” a reporter on the television said. “The eyewitness report says it slashed at her leg with its claws.”

    The kids looked at one another. Fear crept down their spines. Especially fear for their father and what his new boss would do to him. The children knew what they needed to do.


  • The Forest Gate


    The Forest Gate

    Chapter 2

    The sky turned black as the Dolor children exited the bus. Rain dumped on them while they ran for the house. Just as they stepped inside their home, the rain died to a drizzle.

    “Well, how do you like that?” Marian said.

    The door creaked open, and each child wiped his or her shoes on the rug, before stepping onto the wooden floors. Miserably, they walked to their rooms to change their clothes. Later, Herbert found Esther reading in the living room with their mother. Work kept Mr. Dolor away for a few more hours. 

    Herbert looked out the window. “Where’s Marian?”

    Esther didn’t seem to hear him. 

    “I believe she’s upstairs, dear,” Mrs. Dolor said.

    “She’s writing a play,” Esther added, without looking up from her book. 

    Herbert pursed his lips and scrunched them up to the top of his left cheek. He paced around the room like a meandering puppy. 

    “Esther,” he said at last.

    “It’s too muddy outside, Herb,” only Esther and Mr. Dolor called him Herb, which he didn’t mind. 

    The backdoor slammed, and she looked up from her book. He was gone. She looked down at her book. Then back up again. Her mother was watching her.

    “How was your first day of school, sweetie?” Mrs. Dolor asked.

    Esther sighed.


    “The great swordsman, Herbert the Heroic, battles Aaron the Alligator to the death! A battle of wits and skill!” Herbert swung a stick and thrust it forward at the air while spinning his body and twirling his arms every which way. “En garde!” The stick hit the side of the live oak. 

    “It looks like Aaron the Alligator has no chance,” a voice called out from above.

    Herbert startled and looked up the tree. Marian was sitting on a branch with a notebook and pen in her hand. She smiled at him. 

    “Mom said you were upstairs,” Herbert said.

    She shrugged, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

    “You didn’t scare me,” Herbert said, frowning. “I’m Herbert the Heroic. I don’t get scared.” He swung the stick at the trunk and Marian went back to writing. 

    Next thing he knew, a frisbee hit him in the back of the head. He turned around to see Esther giggling. 

    “Oops,” she said. “It was an accident, I promise.”

    “Not muddy anymore?” Herbert asked.

    The two played under the tree, while Marian wrote her play on the lowest branch. The yard under the live oak became an office where they pushed imaginary paper and faxed faux documents. Esther was the boss, and Herbert was behind schedule. Then, the muddy pile of palm branches became a tar pit surrounding a volcano where a Tyrannosaurus Rex lived. Herbert was the dinosaur, and Esther was the damsel in distress. Finally, the tree-line became a racetrack, and the frisbee was a flying saucer. Each child took turns outrunning the alien attack. 

    The frisbee took a wild turn toward the row of forest trees and stuck into a pandora vine. Herbert raced to retrieve it, dropping next to the vines and pulling it out of the pink and white flowered lattice. The cold chill of iron stung his fingertips. Curiosity filled him, and he pulled at the grass and vine lattice, revealing a large iron gate. It was solid, made of ancient oak and wrought iron. Black spires, laced by thick oak, extended beyond its top, forming ornate finials well above a grown man’s height. Wrought iron scrolls curled over the wooden beams, molding an abstract shape that confused the two of them.

    “Looks like a gravestone,” Herbert guessed.

    “No, it’s a fountain,” Esther corrected.

    “Come on!” Herbert said. “Let’s look closer.”

    “It’s not ours.”

    “Whose is it?” Herbert shook with excitement. In his guts, he knew it was probably not right to try entering a gate that wasn’t yours. But ever since seeing it the night before, he wanted to get inside and explore. Now that Esther was with him, he thought it would be better to have someone helping him in case he got in trouble.

    “Well, you look over there for anything neat,” Esther pointed to the side closest Herbert. “I’ll look over here. But no going inside. We need to ask permission before we just go opening up people’s gates. Especially one as nice as this—it’s obvious someone doesn’t want us in.”

    Esther crouched behind a column protruding on the north side of the gate. The old iron disappeared under the vine lattice and the wall fell back a few feet from the forward gate. She glanced back at Herbert, who disappeared on the southern side of another protruding column.  

    Esther ran her fingers along the muddy earth, feeling the bottom of the slimy wooden slats. She reached for what she imagined was the bottom of a column, tearing the vine in front of it. The wall was solid, she thought. Nothing could ever get through that without knowing how to open the gate. 

    Meanwhile, Herbert, also realizing that the gate would never open on its own, found a large boulder and was hitting the right side as hard as possible. He ripped the vines off and smashed the rock into the column and brackets. 

    Esther felt an iron brace on her end. Her fingers ran the length and wrapped around the iron rod. The idea of pulling and shoving her way in was overtaking her. It was so easy to imagine herself inside the gate, and the more she felt how strong it was, the more certain she became that it held wonderful things for her to discover. She wanted inside. She needed to be inside. Her heart beat wildly. She bit her bottom lip. She clutched the iron brace and squeezed. Maybe if I just pulled with all my might. 

    Herbert rammed his boulder into the south side’s bracket. Chink. The sound of rock against stone. Herbert looked down to see something white on the ground. His eyes flashed and his jaw flexed when he realized a piece of the column had broken off. His fingertips reached for it. Marble and shimmering granite. He knelt down and picked up the broken piece, noting the small dimples and fine carvings that formed the face and torso of a panther. 

    While it rolled over his hands and his eyes studied it, the earth shook violently. He heard a thunderous clap from deep in the forest. The vines fell off the front of the gate and a cloud of dust bellowed out from the earth beneath. 

    “Herbert! Herbert! Herbert!” Esther cried and ran to him. “What did we do?”

    “Nothing!” He shouted back, stuffing the ornament under his shirt. “I was just looking at it. Did you touch it?”

    “Oh, my goodness! If it wasn’t you—then yes!—Yes, I did. I think I pulled a lever on the post. I reached through the vines and felt around—”

    “You said not to touch it, Esther!” 

    “I’m so sorry, Herbert.”

    The ground shook again, and they looked at the gate in fear.

    By this time, Marian had joined them. “What did you do?” She looked awestruck at the trembling gate. 

    “It wasn’t my fault, Marian,” Herbert said, fumbling the broken ornament behind his back. 

    “It must’ve been me,” Esther confessed. “I think—”

    The ground quaked again. 

    “What is happening?” 

    “It wasn’t me.”

    “Herbert and I saw this gate that looked so pretty.”

    “Who’s gate is it?”

    “I think I did something to it.”

    “It wasn’t me!”

    Marian glanced at Herbert, furrowing her brow.  

    The door swung open, and a flash of white light blinded the children. Colors of violet and green shimmered in the air like an effervescent rainbow, extending upward into the sky. The dark clouds disappeared, and the sunset broke through. The children lowered their hands from their faces. Dust and lightning bugs fluttered in the air around them.

    “Fairies,” Marian whispered. 

    The ground shook again, but less powerful than before. 

    “What now?” Esther asked. 

    The sound of the repetitive motion was familiar, like a train rumbling across an open plain. But it wasn’t a train or machine. It was the galloping feet of a gallant unicorn that burst through the gate and reared on its back legs. A cotton white mane and tail draped across the fine jet black hair. The horn on its head glowed silver, like mercury, in the sunshine. Its whinny thundered, and the kids cowered, covering their ears. The beast took off, galloping across their yard and out into the street, turning sharply south and heading downtown. 

    “Oh my gosh,” said Marian. 

    “Did we just see a unicorn?” Esther asked.

    “Ugh, what’s that smell?” Herbert asked. 

    The kids’ noses wrinkled on their faces. It smelled like a nasty swamp, the kind you pass by on the road and your mom wishes she had switched the A/C to recycle too late. It was like rotten eggs and milk left under the dishes in the sink for a week. The children heard a low growl and looked to see the shadows of the forest moving and the underbrush coming to life. 

    Howl! 

    A large ape-like creature came out of the gate and grabbed the low branch of the live oak—the same branch Marian was sitting on just minutes before. With lightning-fast grace, it flung itself upwards onto another branch and sailed high into the air. It landed on the roof and threw a slew of shingles to the ground. It howled again before jumping from the roof on the other side of the house. 

    “What did we open?” Marian asked.

    “It’s an enchanted forest,” answered Esther. 

    “I saw it! I saw it all! I saw what you did!” A voice shouted at them from the yard, beneath the oak tree. 

    The Dolor children looked to see, at their dismay, Aaron on his bicycle. He rode his bike in the grass, its fat tires sinking in the wet mud. He was whistling to himself, wearing his crooked smile. 

    “What are you doing here?” Marian asked.

    “Is this what you all do in Cacao?” He asked, grinning. “Break open enchanted forest gates that don’t belong to you and let loose monsters?” 

    The Dolor children were speechless. Meanwhile, a blue mist filled the air around their feet and they unwittingly looked back into the forest. 

    A man stood before them. But he wasn’t a man at all. At least, he wasn’t whole like a man. He was transparent. But not the spooky kind of you ghost you hear about at Halloween-time. Kindness was in his eyes, and goodness came from his smile. He wore a wide-brimmed hat with a feather sticking out the back of it, and armor—which frightened the kids a little, and strange fluffy pants—which made the kids giggle.

    “Hello children,” the ghost greeted them. “You are younger than the last time I saw you.” 

    The kids looked at each other. Even Aaron was speechless now. 

    “Begging your pardon, sir-ghost,” Marian replied. “But we’ve never met you before.” 

    The ghost smiled at them. 

    “Who are you?” Esther asked. 

    “I am Juan Ponce de León. And you are the children who have opened the gates to my Enchanted Forest.”

    The Dolor children and Aaron looked at one another. 

    “I’m sorry if we—” Marian began.

    “The gate protects the world’s greatest secret. And it happens to keep at bay the world’s most evil monsters.”

    “That’s right!” Aaron blurted out, stepping off his bike and racing forward. “My great-grandfather told stories of Ponce de León and his Enchanted Forest. There’s history books of it.”

    “And you’re an expert now?” Marian whistled.

    “I didn’t say I was an expert. I said my great-grandfather knew about it. I bet I could find a book—”

    “No!”

    While Marian and Aaron were arguing, Esther and Herbert noticed the ghost  had disappeared. This made them more afraid than anything else before. It’s funny how seeing something scary can seem less dangerous than thinking about something you can’t see, that may be hiding in the shadows. 

    “Guys!” Esther hollered. “The ghost is gone.”

    The kids looked around the gate and forest entrance. Oak, maple, and pine trees towered overhead, and the sun fell beyond the edge of the horizon behind them. The smell of lavender and honey on the air.

    “Time to go inside,” Marian ordered. “Goodbye, Aaron.”

    Herbert and Esther obeyed and started walking. 

    Aaron was indignant. “You heard what the ghosty said,” he yelled. “You’ve got to put it back together. Get them back in and get the gate sealed.”

    “He didn’t say that,” Esther replied.

    “Why do you care, anyway?” Marian asked.

    “Maybe I don’t want to see my home run over with vampires,” Aaron responded. “Maybe it’s none of your business.”

    “You’re right. It is none of our business,” Marian fired back. “The gate isn’t our property, and it’s not like we can do much about it. We are talking about monsters and ghosts. And we are just kids.” 

    “It’s my fault,” Esther groaned. 

    Herbert felt the granite under his shirt and flexed his jaw.

    “You need to fix it!” Aaron commanded. 

    “We need to go in for supper!” Marian admonished. 

    That night, the Dolor children had a hard time sleeping again, but for entirely different reasons. And all of them thought they may have heard a smelly ape traipsing on the roof. 


  • John the Baptist


    I can’t get this man out of my mind this year.

    Here’s a man who held the world in his hand. Where he was, crowds gathered. When he spoke, people listened. When he baptized, people changed. How he led, disciples grew. The Pharisees, scribes, priests, and leaders of the world ventured down to the Jordan River to witness it—the man who was turning the world upside down. Was he the Messiah? Could he be the first Prophet in ages?

    And at the peak of his ministry, he saw something. The Holy Spirit dropping like a dove. At its descent, he knew his time at the front was fading away. He saw the hand of God move and the true Messiah come. Now was the end of the story for him. A man that we later only heard about in anecdotes like “why do your disciples fast and Jesus’ don’t?” And a nasty ordeal with Herod’s wife and daughter.

    What came of this man as he sat in prison and doubted everything? What ran through his mind that made him fall to his knees and cry aloud, “Is Jesus the true Son of God? Did I make a mistake?”

    A man with the world in his hand. A man that gave it all up for Jesus. And a man that doubted everything in his weakest state. A man that Jesus wept over.

    Am I a man that can let go of reason and understanding? Am I a man that can give up any sense of power for the genuine movement of God? Can I see the Holy Spirit descending and quietly disappear into the distance? Will I doubt at my weakest state? Will I overcome?

    I’ve watched a lot of Batman lately. The good kind. The kind that always inspired me. Not this recent rubbish that has him walking slow, ominous, and evil. But the Dark Knight Trilogy that had a deeper understanding of Batman’s sacrifice. The kind of writing that carried words like “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain”, and “Maybe it’s time we all stop trying to outsmart the truth and let it have its day”. The kind of writing that saw Batman become the villain in the city’s eyes so that they could have hope.

    I can do those things. Gotham deserves better. And I’ve made choices myself, ones that will inspire my children and those closest to me, but on the surface may look like the villain.

    But maybe it’s time we all stop trying to outsmart the truth and let it have its day.

    When I look at our world today—in this time of 2022—I see a people who are so tired of lying to others and themselves. We don’t trust anyone, yet somehow we entrust the entire world with our every waking thought, emotion, and action. “Here you are, world, my self-esteem, value, and worth. Do with it what you will.” Meanwhile, we don’t trust a word out of our leaders, politicians, pastors, business owners, judges, scientists, and spouses. Trust is dead, because Truth became a choice. Nothing but words.

    Words…

    Words…

    Words…

    Words are nothing. Words are not God. Though Jesus is named the Word of God, He is not bound by them. He is the power behind them. Just as the curse came from the building of letters, and freedom from the unction of the spirit.

    And with zero coercion and manipulation, will the true leaders of the Word stand up. Whether in front of many or not—they will stand at the end. Let the whole world burn, but those who carry integrity, honor, and faithfulness—they will have the stamina to make it.

    Our culture, meanwhile, screams the opposite. Followers and Fashion. Likes and Views. More numbers, more pats on the back. More media, More knowledge.

    But Followers don’t mean Disciples

    Fashion doesn’t mean Worth

    Likes don’t mean Love

    Views don’t mean Value

    Numbers don’t mean Health

    Knowledge doesn’t mean wisdom.

    God is Love. But too often we mistake Love as God. And in so doing, trap ourselves in all sorts of idolatry and selfish manipulation.

    Pride and Insecurity.

    Can I disappear like John the Baptist? Can I go here forward and live a quiet life? One with working of the hands and minding my own business? Can I disappear with humility?

    God help those I leave behind.

    The Admiral, the Captain, and the True Leader find themselves in a place where no other human has. The place where one knows what it feels like to take over command from another, and carry the vision, keep your head down, and drive the battalion forward, against all odds, and without full understanding—believing in the mission more than the circumstance. And with that command comes the knowledge that at any moment, any change of the winds, authority and purpose may be stripped away and disappear into the fray.

    I can’t get this man, John the Baptist, out of my mind. Out of my veins. Out of my actions. 

  • Adventure Waits

    Adventure waits
     for me to die again;
      the time of death and the death of Time
    Adventure stands
     without Reason or rhyme
    I must commit
      to remain uncommitted
    My soul must long
     to never long again
    My dreams too great
      yet never great enough
    Adventure waits
    Adventure waits

  • Starting Over

    Entry One


    Who is John the Baptist?
    And how is he like Elijah?

    A man who had Israel in the palm of his hand
    A man who the officials respected and feared
    A man who gave it all away to Jesus
    A man who later doubted Christ had come

    Who is John the Baptist?
    How can I learn through his decreasing? What is to truly decrease?

    What is true adventure? Is there something beyond honesty and integrity? I have found something precious beyond the honesty of “I know how to do something”. Like Jacob who lied to get the blessing because he wanted it that bad. There’s a dangerous line out there. Integrity must be there. And accountability. Because without those, someone could run off of a cliff into megalomaniacal infidelity. And yet, adventure may be there, too. Can adventure’s allure become too great for us? That’s a book I shall have to write one day.

    I have felt more alone and free in these last few weeks than I have in years. Both for better and worse. Locked inside a cage of politics and doing what others would want from me or for me. Locked inside a terrible place of wondering what is really living or dying. And now, I’ve felt more alive than I have in the last year.

    At the same time, Anxiety and fear creep in at any moment against my soul- the fear that the Master Manipulator will try to make me believe I’m not supposed to be happy. Or that happiness isn’t really waiting for me. Or that it’s only a vacation.

    But what brings my soul peace is being away from all of this.

    The list of fears I have are great and mighty. But I suppose the outcome of such things could happen anywhere or any time over any thing. The better thing will always be to follow Peace. And I finally have Peace.

    I know others won’t see it that way- and some may believe I’m being malicious. After all, it was always said, I would burn it all to the ground. Perhaps, that is what I want. Without our wits and ambitions, at least then people would be free. At least then we would need Jesus to rebuild us.
    Time for my desires to burn. But as for me and my house- I am done burning. I’m going to light the match one last time and disappear. And I can’t wait to be free in the flames.

    Though I believe it will take some time for me to feel absolute, free and alive.

    Surreal and spiritual
    True and holy
    What an unnerving and holy thing!
    I want to breathe.
    I want to dance.
    I want to laugh.
    I want to hope.
    I want to dream.
    And finally, I feel as though I can.

    His yoke is easy. His burden is light. Anything more or less is lip service.

    The bird’s song
    and heaven’s drip
    are music to my ears
    My heart rests in knowing You are beside me
    in You I find purpose and joy
    I found a home
    And it’s Your arms
    I found rest
    And it’s your adoption
    The rain and the bird’s sing of Your glory
    I join them in my silence
    Always quiet
    Always Yours

  • Chapter Eight

    Fox Island


    Fox Island

    Chapter 8

    It was early morning. The sun hadn’t lifted over the eastern horizon. Blue fog hung in the cool air. Fox was three hours to the northwest of the village with Arvor and five other men carrying torches. They stood on the edge of a precipice, overlooking a freshwater river—the source of water for the village. Here in the jungle, a cropping of thirty-foot-high papayas grew on the edge of the world, eight-hundred feet up the rock face. 

    While the villagers made light work of the papayas, the sun peaked its face from below the ocean and covered the island with light. Fox dallied on the cliff in a brown study, fantasizing of his ceiba back on his beach. 

    He had grown comfortable with the Liberi in the last month, but it didn’t come without a share of grief and regret. His home was gone, and unfortunately, he couldn’t conjure up a need to ever return to it. It no longer seemed wise to attempt his escape from the island. 

    What was waiting for him that he couldn’t find here in safety? He had not a name from out there anymore, nor a home from wherever he came. It’s possible that there was a family on the other side of the ocean that he belonged to—but it was just as likely that there was nothing at all. 

    When he was on the beach, there was adventure in him and it called him to do the unthinkable and risk his life in the ocean. But now he had a place to lay his head, and food to fill his stomach. He had comrades and conversation. It was the sensible thing to stay. If he left knowing what he knew now, he was a fool and walking into certain death. The adventure was gone—

    That thought tasted bitter. He told himself the adventure was still here, just different. He mourned at the sight of the horizon, remembering the ceiba had kept him safe when he felt like all was lost. 

    No matter how much he told himself it was wise to stay, he struggled with an uncomfortable conviction that something was strange about the Liberi—he recognized that he would never be one of them, only one among them. Perhaps he could learn to appreciate their culture and religious entanglements. Perhaps he could help them grow in science and history, like Wells’ Time Traveler desired for his Eloi. 

    By now, his ceiba would be nothing but a remnant of some lost soul struggling to survive on an island long ago. And it would be a pitiful sight if he were to see it now—nothing compared to a village, fire, drink, food and bed. No doubt, those incessant monkey destroyed his store and make-shift watering system by now; and what else did he even have at that place save his watch and rucksack bag?

    Yes, his watch. He had forgotten. It was the thing that reminded him he belonged somewhere else.  The thing that told him he belonged to someone else. Where was it? He had chased an idea into the center of the island and forgotten what it was.


    He caught himself from his stupor. There was work to be done. He made his way toward a papaya tree when a flash of familiar red and orange caught his eye at the edge of the forest. It darted along, just beneath the tall grass; a beautiful island fox. It stopped in a glade and stared him in the eyes. It was unnerving; everything about it was the same as the one at the monolith. Direct and obtrusive, like a friend that was lost and trying to make you remember its name. Yes, he was certain now! It have to be the same from weeks prior. 

    CRACK! BOOM!

    An explosion of sound came from down the ravine where Arvor was collecting fruit. An immense boulder had shouldered itself out from under one of the papaya trees and crashed down into the river below, scaring a flurry of white and blue herons. 

    Arvor was inside the tree that rested on the rock, and it had tipped out over the ravine from the weight of his body. Fox ran alongside the edge of the cliff and came to the base of the tree, now jutting out, leaving Arvor dangling fifteen feet over the crevice. 

    He was screaming and crying for help, trying with all his might to get his body back up into the tree. But his sweat was making his hands weak. He gripped the ridged exterior of the tree and swung his body with all his might, trying to grab the trunk with his legs. With every swing, he grew more tired until he looked down below him and knew he would fall. 

    Fox was in the tree, crawling up the trunk, out over the ravine. With every creep he took, the tree shook and shuddered down the cliff. Arvor’s face was smothered in fear, and his forehead was bleeding from falling against the large fruit and branches. 

    The tree’s root system was halfway out of the soil, and the trunk itself was horizontal. Fox laid down on the trunk, wrapping his legs around it and reached for Arvor’s hand. The tree would not hold the weight any longer, and the trunk cracked and snapped in half. It came crashing down, attached by splinters and strings, slamming the two men into the side of the cliff. Trumpet vine covering the side of the cliff broke their collision.

    A shower of earth rained down as they maneuvered and grabbed hold of the trunk in whatever way possible. The trunk splintered. The leaves rattled in bloody violence. Sweat and life dripped from Arvor’s face. Fox shimmied down and with every movement, the tree bowed and crackled underneath him. He dropped, letting his stomach bend over the upper branches. He reached and took Arvor’s hand. 

    Arvor was silent; fear wore him like an animal in the jaws of a wolf. He was a child again, and his arms flailed viciously at Fox, scratching and bruising his forearms. He pulled with all his might and nearly took Fox off the branches with him. Fox reached for a strand of trumpet vine and steadied the two men.

    He groaned and fought, pulling the dead weight of the frightened man over himself. The trunk moved again and the whole cliff side gave way to an enormous mouth of dirt and vegetation—sent sailing down the ravine and crashing into the river below. Fox inhaled, gave half a curse, before clenching his jaw and using every last strength to climb to the base of the tree above the break. 

    The tree base was hanging perpendicular to the ravine. With each breath, clumps of earth and rock fell from underneath it; the roots shuttered and wormed from their underground burrows, catching the light and throwing their arms up into the sky over Fox’s head. Dirt and clay blinded him. He shut his eyes and reached for the cliff, finding rock behind the vine. He held onto it with all his might; the break gave way and the top of the tree sailed to the river below. 

    The two pressed between the base of the trunk and gripped the trumpet vine, praying it would not tear. Clay matted to Fox’s face. He scraped his face into the vine and rock like a madman. The clay fell off; blood smeared across his nose and cheeks. 

    He looked at Arvor. He was a stunned and pitiful shell of his former self. Nothing in him knew what to do as he prayed words that Fox didn’t understand and wept out of control. Fox spit in his face in an attempt to calm him down. 

    “Look at me!” Fox yelled at him. “Look at the edge,” he said, gesturing his head upward. “Get to the edge.”

    Arvor began climbing the vine, and every movement made the tree groan and the earth quake all around. The vine tore and crunched inside the men’s grasp, but the weed held together. They reached the top of the cliff and rolled onto their backs in exhaustion. 

    Arvor fell at Fox’s feet, kissing his hands and arms like a puppy to its master. His weeping turned to laughing, and before long the man made no sense. Fox was not amused. He wiped the blood from his eyes and looked down the ravine at the river wrinkling upon itself and swallowing the rest of the tree. He turned away from the cliff and the sobbing, hysterical Arvor, to see the five other Liberi men standing motionless nearby. None spoke; they stared like children paralyzed by the unknown. 

    He saw them for what they were. During his time among them, he convinced himself that he was the stranger and foreigner, therefore in need of submitting to their culture, acquiring their habits, and becoming a resident. But now he saw them for what they were. They were cowards. Through and through, true and simple cowards. Unable to do anything necessary when it required bravery. Men becoming farmers and losing the will to hunt. They never fought—accusation, theft, and deception were met with cowardice and submission. Slaps on the wrist sent them running home; things out of place made them frozen in fear. And a man in certain death made them confused and quiet. 

    The men turned and began picking fruit from the trees. 




  • Chapter Seven

    Fox Island


    Fox Island

    Chapter 7

    Fox wasn’t always alone in the outskirts. After a week with the Liberi, he met a man named Arvor. He was quiet and reserved, unlike the common immature Liberi. He discussed culture and habits and taught Fox the language, and for that Fox was indebted. Arvor followed him like a faithful companion, uncommonly speaking only when spoken to. 

    Fox journaled relentlessly. It was impossible to keep up with the new words without writing them down. Arvor provided him someone to exclusively learn from, test his theories and answer his questions; it gave him a lavish amount of information to ponder. He ofttimes woke in the afternoon after writing all night to candlelight.

    The two men conferred most often at the eastern outskirts, on the edge of a precipice. It overlooked a large valley. In the distant south he could see the unsightly expanse of the marshlands; they were several miles wide, expanding into a droopy fog and shrouded by the shadow of the mountain; it was far greater than he ever would have imagined. While the two men met there, Fox recollected his ugly venture through the dead land. 

    If he had come a little north, it would have spit him out on the other side of a tree-line in perfect view of the Liberi village. Instead, he came out through the bahia field, behind a cropping of pepper trees. He would have missed the village altogether if not for the scouting party at the monolith, and that most certainly happened as a consequence of his startling of the birds. It was all very fortuitous and made him laugh. He mused what would have been if he kept his prior heading to the southwest. He would have missed the village and wandered for who-know’s how long into the wild.

    “Out over that land,” Fox said aloud, pointing at the bog. “—that’s where I came from.” 

    Arvor stared resolutely. “You came through the Marshlands,” he said. “The dead path.”

    Fox liked Arvor. Though he wasn’t convinced Arvor had the same level of fondness that he had. Arvor’s aloof and strict behavior made their brotherhood foremost occupational. It gave him an uncomfortable feeling that Arvor was with him as a means to an end. Nonetheless, Fox grew partial to him and appreciated his knowledge. They were friends.


    With Arvor, he discussed the basic principles of the Liberi language and grew accustomed. He knew that man was viror, and woman vira. Therefore, they used the same notation as Latin descent, using “oh” and “ah” to deliberate between masculine and feminine; “i” and “u” were neutral. 

    Koh, or island, was masculine. But the plants Kohah, that the island produced, were feminine. Koha—here the vowel pronounced in staccato—could delineate a garden or crop. This told him that, like many other nations, the Liberi considered man dominant and woman submissive, while also the fruit bearer. Which of course brought with it many more ideas about government and rule. 

    As far as Fox surmised there was no leader, ruler or chief over the village. There was the idea that Arvor was instructed to be with him, but nothing supported that belief other than fantasy. He found it surprising a society that lived in a dangerous locale, facing dangerous weather, starvation and predators, could yet survive without order, government or police. Save for the sackcloth-clad men, he never knew of any difference in class or authority. 

    The Liberia were vegetarians, refusing to eat even the most insignificant animals or fish. Because of this, the animal kingdom (or Maioren), had no need to fear the village and occupied it often. Birds, insects and small animals pounced, crept and crawled through the village like a faithful Eden. The Liberia loved monkeys. They would play with them, fondle them, and feed them daily. They were not pets though. They came and left as they desired. They were wild, but cherished.

    Most every adult in the village kept their head down and worked in the morning, whilst also playing and dancing in the afternoon and night. They served amongst themselves, both taking care of the colony and their individual person. 

    The women were in charge of the water supply. The Liberi hadn’t yet discovered, or at least propagated, the process of irrigation. Every other day the women would venture north on a half day’s journey to a waterfall. They collected water in enormous baskets and  replenished enormous communal barrels used for drinking, bathing, and gardening.  

    The men were the farmers, harvesting nuts, berries, fruits, and vegetables. In this group, Fox attached himself. He best show himself a viable part of the group when he was present, rather than some vacant visitor sitting solitary on a rock and writing in his parchment. 

    He followed the farmers early in the morning, during messakoh (harvest, or morning). He discovered Arvor was a famous and well-versed harvester, or messaku. He could scale a twenty-foot papaya tree in less than three seconds, as quick as a raccoon. The Liberi had this talent of using their hands and feet like paws running up the trunks of the jungle; it made their traversal frightfully efficient. Fox recalled his foot-race with the islander who quickly escaped him.  

    Farmlands stretched in every direction surrounding the village, dozens of distinct fruits and vegetables, and each day the men traveled to a fresh crop. One late morning, after harvest, Arvor and Fox traveled at the rear.

    “Who is the Liberi leader, Arvor?” Fox asked. 

    Arvor looked at him. He repositioned a bushel of bananas to his other shoulder. “What does Fox mean?”

    “Who speaks and gives instruction to the Liberi—what to do?—how to live?” 

    “Fox is confusing.” Arvor responded.

    “I mean—are there Liberi that are above other Liberi in the village? Do some Liberi say to do something, and other Liberi must follow and obey?”

    Arvor grew silent. He bounced the question from one side of his head to the other and back again, before answering. “The cria must listen to us.” (Cria was the word for children.)

    “No, I do not mean children and parents.” Fox went silent, thinking of another way to ask. “Arvor, there are different tasks the Liberi must make, correct?”

    Arvor nodded.

    “Liberi must harvest food. Clean food. Cook food. Table must be made. Stool must be made. Fire must be set. Stories must be spoke. Homes must be cleaned.” Arvor continued to nod, waiting for the point. “If a big storm was to come to Island, or animal fought Liberi, who would keep Liberi safe? Who would fight the animal?”

    “Ah, Fox is a wise fox.” Arvor smiled. “All must be kept in the village. And all Liberi must work and play to keep it. Watanei keeps us safe from the yoku (storm). And he made the animals. Why would they bring us harm?” 

    This name or title intrigued Fox. “Is Watanei a man or…name?” (He didn’t know the word for rank or title.)

    “Fox is confusing.” Arvor responded. 

    “Is Watanei in the village?”

    “No.”

    “Where is Watanei?” Fox asked. “Can I—”

    “—No.” Arvor interrupted. He would ask if he could meet or speak to Watanei, but he clearly agitated Arvor and immediately relented. 

    Arvor stopped walking. He looked heavenward and all around him, as if fighting some internal struggle. Finally, he calmed himself down. “Watanei tells us who we are.” Arvor conceded. “We do not tell him who he is or where is he. We only listen. We do not speak.” The two men walked back to the village henceforth in silence. 

    It seemed that Watanei was a god-figure to the Liberi. If he had the power to stop storms, or protect from them, or whatever Arvor meant by that, then surely he wasn’t a man. Could it be that their entire civilization lived in perfect balance under the rule of a religious figure? It’s true that many tribes and smaller communities could live harmoniously. But the Liberi were nearly a thousand men and women. Surely, theft and violence reared their ugly heads up at some point in their history. Law and order were irrelevant to them, so he was to surmise every individual lived selflessly strictly out of obedience to a god? 

    When the Liberi were not harvesting their crops and water, they were predominantly playing and relaxing. At night the people became edacious for delight. They lit bonfires and danced about them like Bacchantes and satyrs. Song and music played through horns, flutes and drums, loud and effusive. They laughed, told silly stories, gambled, and played childish games. 

    The men, women, and children all drank from the same alcoholic spice Fox received when he was first greeted by the Liberi. They drank themselves silly and the oldest of them regularly woke in the middle of a path leading home. 

    Though they seemed at first to drink absent of circumspection, Fox observed a collective understanding that too much of the spice would have dire consequences; thus, independently, they quit the drink after a period, of which the period and amount were determined personally and privately. There was no barkeep or officer monitoring the individual and his or her crapulence; it strictly lasted as long as one desired, and it seemed to Fox that that length was never too dangerous. After all, the whole affair was to enjoy themselves, not destroy themselves. They partook slowly and reveled in the delight of dance and life, rather than absolute debauchery.

    Because of this unwritten understanding, they did not concern themselves with putting restrictions on their children in the same manner Fox presumed. They encouraged the little-ones to celebrate and partake in all of nature’s offerings, including the spice-drink. Watching a little one tip over dazed or fall asleep from liquor was amusing to them. But even in this, the village had an unspoken rule of engagement, collectively discerning when the obscure line was near being crossed; the entire village watched the little ones, preventing anything truly dangerous from happening to them.

    This made sense, because in all the weeks with them, Fox had a hard time perceiving where the families were. The children ran about the entirety of the village and rarely went to the same house at night. The village itself was a collective parent, all taking care of the offspring together like an elephant parade or lion pride. Too, there weren’t very many children among the Liberi. The youngest child Fox knew of was Arvor’s nephew, already five-years-old; at most he saw only a few dozen children under the age of twenty. 

    He wondered if a plague or terrible storm ravaged the people in their recent history. Perhaps, each evening’s party was actually a celebration of life, both of the ones lost and the ones remaining. Song, dance, and liquor spent on sorrow and joy. The thought, at first, brought a quiet comfort—this was a civilization that dedicated each and every night to that of memorial and thanksgiving, pleasure and gaiety. 

    Fox didn’t fully understand the language, and what’s more, had an impossible time understanding their stories, metaphors and poetry. He may be completely wrong in his assumption of the party. Instead of celebrating life and death, the dance may be some misguided and religious attempt to ward off evil spirits that sent curses through plague and natural disaster. Perhaps the party was the product of fear rather than honor. The fear of the future oftentimes is cloaked by a spurious praise of the past. It was trepidatious, humdrum; it robbed itself of all its romanticism and made the festivity irrelevant. If fear were the catalyst to joy, could it actually ever be true delight?

    Fox knew enough of religious tradition to believe that both were likely true. The ritual probably began with good intent, masking an ugly ulterior meaning. Some two authorities long ago, who believed a dance and memorial were necessary, argued over the inception of it all—one believing that honor and joy mattered; the other believing that worry and appeasement of the gods was of chief importance. 

    What resulted was a play that passed down from generation to generation until most forgot its true meaning, causing a celebration that both the scholar and simpleton, deacon and layman, partook in. Some Liberi no doubt drank wisely and with noble regard of the past, while others danced in a fearful obligation of what may happen if they didn’t, and further most others met the drink with a wild gaiety and stupid ambivalence. 

    On his first night with the Liberi, Fox celebrated with them. He thought the party was in honor of himself, some sort of welcoming in the community. He basked in the presence of wild frivolity after his weeks of fearful desperation. But upon learning it happened each night, it became insignificant and further deflated and embarrassed him. 

    The parties henceforth felt obnoxious, merely resonating with the wild and boisterous people; he respected the culture of the tribe, but it was not his own. He regularly retreated from the festivity or sat quietly at the edge of the fire with Arvor. Neither man preferred the drink, and both sneered at the inebriation of the others—the lascivious wilds of satyrs and nymphs waiting on Bacchus and Ceres to join them. A tribe of people devoted to debauchery and delight. Its endless nightly episode stripped it of the meaning, integrity, and necessity, leaving only the product of selfish wantonness.


    A blood-curdling scream broke out of the darkness. Shrill and demonic, it echoed over the fire-pit, lifted with the smoke, and split the ears of every person in the village. It was just the other side of the bonfire from Fox and Arvor. The voice of a woman—a banshee—screaming and vomiting guttural moans up into the smoke and flame. The drums and music ceased. The dancing stuttered. It immediately stirred Fox from his introspection and looked about, trying to find the source of the commotion. Silence was a thick fog that surrounded the orange-lit gathering of people.

    Through the pale moonlight and flittering firelight, he saw the scuffle of a woman flailing herself about in the dirt. She was screaming the name of someone again and again, “Cian! Cian! My Cian is gone!”

    Confusion stole Fox’s concern; he looked about to see the villager’s staring stoically at the woman. They were dumb and witless, like cattle. He noticed Arvor lean forward and take his staff in his hand, as if to prepare himself for something. 

    Whatever it was, he wouldn’t get the chance to see. The woman’s presumed husband came rushing into the circle of people and began apologizing to the crowd. He was doing his best to hush the hysterical woman up, but in the end, only made the event worse and more awkward. He finally gave up trying to give reason to her, and after grabbing her ankle and wrist, he ploddingly dragged the woman off into the darkness to wherever their hut was, all the while her screams growing fainter and fainter into the darkness. 

    Her disappearance left the night dense, resting on the shoulders of the assembly. No one looked at one another. They meekly picked up their things and made the journey home. Everyone understood the party was over. Fox was never told who Cian was, nor did he see the woman again after that night. But he conceded that his theory about the celebration of death and life wasn’t too far from the truth.




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