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There’s this growing trend among massive churches for NDA’s to be signed by pastors and supervisors upon their resignation. Now, of course, NDA’s (non-disclosure agreements) have been used for many years to protect from corruption of perhaps fraud, stealing, or selling secrets. On the ugly side of the spectrum, it would be to protect a certain individual or many individuals from their shady practices being known, thus extinguishing the threat of a lawsuit or media scandal. 

Now, I hope just from that last statement it brings to the forefront the danger in using such a practice in churches. Here, an institution built on truth, God’s word, unity, and forgiveness is privately displaying (potentially, if not definitively) that they are afraid of truth.

With an NDA, at best the church may be saying, “you will not disclose the private matters you have learned from parishioners whilst acting as a pastor or leader”. That’s noble. I won’t deny that. People share very private, intimate things with pastors, believing they will honor and protect them. 

But that’s not the concern we all feel when we hear a church is practicing NDA’s with its staff. The temptation is obvious: hide what is happening behind closed doors in pertaining to the lead pastor’s private life, the lead pastor’s true motivation, the culture of the office, covered up sin in the church, money habits, embezzlement, lying…the list goes on and on. “We have a signed document stating you will not tell people why you felt like working at this church wasn’t a good idea anymore.”

A church needs to be established on transparency and accountability. Unfortunately, western churches are encouraging pastors to stop talking to their staff or church about their personal matters or sins anymore. Instead, they are told to counsel with pastors 1,000 miles away. Ones that have only known them for a mere six months instead of a lifetime. Ones that will always take the pastor’s word over the word of someone on their staff or church. Because “the people who speak ill of them are ‘just crazy’ or ‘broken’ or ‘unforgiving’. 

This is a habit that has nothing but negative consequences. And it’s why we see scandal after scandal come to fruition. 

Many times, the staff knew about it for years, but kept looking away, brushing it under the rug, until someone was bold enough to stand up and shout what happened.

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So what am I saying? 

I’m not saying that everyone who practices NDA’s in a church is covering up money laundering or sexual infidelity. 

On the contrary, I’m saying that the use of NDA’s leads only to something as such. If we refuse accountability, or even the notion of accountability, because we are afraid of truth, we will always end up in sin. It’s not a question of “if the church is in sin”, it’s a question of “when they will be”.

One of the first red flags you should have at any church you walk into is whether they practice NDA’s with their former staff and pastors. If it’s yes, then leave. Why would I want to entertain the possibility of sin? Flee from it.

You could argue all day that it doesn’t mean the church or leadership is in sin. But it’s not about that. It’s about why the church or leadership feels they have the right to not be questioned about it. That’s a serious concern.

It’s about control. It’s about holding a narrative. That’s the heartbeat behind it. And when a church is a control freak, you’ve got bigger problems. We aren’t the church’s property. We are Christ’s. We aren’t slaves of a pastor’s vision. We are bondservants of Christ.

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So, here’s the story. A day ago, I posted on social media about bad practices in the church. One of the comments I made was about NDA’s. So someone reached out to me, questioning my motivation and taking offense to the post. 

We had a text bout back and forth until it landed nowhere. But one of the things that he said that really surprised, albeit alarmed me, was: “No one is forced to sign [an NDA]. The signer has days to review and days to change their mind. It’s not a pressure tactic as [you] implied.”

I wanted to go into it more, but the conversation didn’t yield to it. I simply said, “There is plenty of pressure” and left it at that. I couldn’t shake the thought and ended up here writing. Because—dagblasted!—it matters!

(One time my wife asked, “who are you writing for?” And it’s the people I know who are caught or stuck in a place that they feel they can’t question. Because…what else is there? But the truth is: there’s a lot more. A whole lot more in Christ Jesus. We are His Church. His Bride. And how we act is not determined by the whims of carnal men.)

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The Pressure: 

I did not sign an NDA when I left the church I pastored at. Nor was I asked to. That practice came after me. But I can confidently describe the pressure one feels in “not talking about it.”

I grew up in my church. I was there since 1989. I loved it with all my heart. When I was a teenager, I would attend all three services each Sunday morning because I wanted everything the current pastor had to spill. I rode my bike after school every day to serve and help, because for me, there wasn’t any other place that mattered. And I’m grateful for those years. They taught me so much about the Word and shaped me as a man. 

As soon as I got married, I got a job there. I worked for 12 years. Pastored (on staff) for 5. 

When God gave me the command to leave, it was the most gut-wrenching and painful thing I had ever done. I loved where I pastored and who I taught. But I knew that if I continued, I would have to change who I was, lose my integrity, and become something I don’t believe is outlined in the Bible.

So yeah…it hurt. A lot. I went to my wife, dad, and four closest friends for guidance and prayer. I wanted to know if I was making a mistake, if something was off. But it wasn’t…everything was there, and unfortunately, it had happened many times before. 

So I resigned. 

And three days later, I was sat down by a man I truly respected and loved and asked, “Why are you telling people* about why you are leaving? Doesn’t sound very healthy the way you describe it. If God was really telling you to do this, you wouldn’t be so hurt.” *referencing my closest friends in whom I had confided.

Pressure. 

Imagine giving your whole life to a place. Following and serving a vision with everything in you. And then wrestling for months about it. And then walking away into a future with no finances, no plan, no anything because you are merely listening to God. And then being told by someone you love that you shouldn’t talk to those you love most about it. And on top of that, to not tell anyone you lead or care for about it.

That’s pressure to shut up. 

So I did. Because it felt like that’s the thing you should do. Not the right thing, just…the thing.

So if I felt pressure, having not even been asked to sign an NDA, how much more so to the man or woman who is faced with no backpay or shred of severance. The person who gets nothing if they don’t sign that little document. (I’m unsure of whether a church would hold back money and resources unless you didn’t sign. But it’s hard to imagine a universe where they don’t once they start using such practices.)

Should they do it? Of course not! But we have the luxury of answering that when we aren’t staring down the barrel of a gun. Because it’s not a businessman asking you. It’s “the Voice of God”. 

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That’s the ugly side of these NDA’s in churches. There is too much room for scandal, lies, cheating, and infidelity. 

Now hear me: I’m not saying all churches that practice this are guilty of it. I’m simply saying…Why? Why are you so afraid of the truth that you have to bring the law into it?

If you live above reproach, why are you looking over your shoulder? Is not that the opposite of integrity? And if integrity isn’t everything in your church, what are you doing? Who are you leading? To what end?

And this is why churches need to reject the temptation to run themselves as businesses foremost instead of…churches. A church: a place to worship, learn, and become more like Christ. Not worry about money or if you will be black-listed by “the elites”.

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So back to the story of the text bout. The irony here is that the post I wrote the day prior was spurred on by something happening on the other side of the country at a church he’s not affiliated with or aware of. But it struck a cord in him. 

It made perfect sense to me that if what I wrote convicted him, he may be in need of repentance. But try as I might, I could not get him to see the power in those words if it resonated so deeply in him to become offended, that perhaps (not perhaps, definitely) it was a sign he should take a deeper look at his church practices. The fruit proves the tree. And his heart was screaming for clarity. Because it knows deep down, God’s not in this.

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So what can you, the layman or parishioner, do? Pray! Pray for Christ’s bride. Pray against the festering model of lying and manipulation to move ahead in churches. Pray for wisdom. Confront your pastor with the truth and if they don’t repent or agree, leave. Seek out the Lord in your Bible and in worship. If you don’t live near a church that you know is actually a church, then start a Bible study in your living room, start inviting everyone you see over, and start growing—that’s how the first-century church began!

But please, don’t throw your hands up and say, “Oh well, guess there’s no other option.” Because that’s what too many before us have done, which eventually led to a scandal. Christ’s bride deserves better. And frankly, those pastors who are making the mistake of hiding, can still change their habits before they do something that actually destroys them and their community.

Lord, shake us up. Lord, make us strong and anew.

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