A Lament

All around me are those that would encourage.
They say words they consider wisdom,

and a masque of red death.
"Oh, I have been there," they say.
But who has felt what I have felt,

but the Lord?
Who has wandered the depths of Hell
abandoned their love by honest ideal?
I have looked at my love and left her,
in the hands and grin of a’ inept deceiver.
I cannot breathe,
    And those I have honoured have dishonoured me.
My name is now Disgrace,
    and because only I believed.
Our loyalty,
    --What loyalty--
    But a masquerade of chivalry!
Those who consider themselves wise and loyal,
    puff themselves up as mockers and cheaters.
They praise their own image,
    parade in the common place,
    --terribly wise--terribly handsome--
    like they know care or know of sacrifice.
But I fought to the end,
and brandished 'y knuckles tight.
My words were strong,

My words were few.
Yet they twisted 'em ‘round me,
like thickets unhewn.
I cannot breathe.
Those I've honoured have dishonoured me.
And with tight grins and showman's teeth,
they will tell my children to "follow me".
Out with "love" and "care",
followed by whips and stares.
To be on the out of a charlatan's grace,
    is to be thrown into the sackman's place.
But down here in these depths, I see
    my Lord was all along with me.
He, too, gave up His own life,
    let 'is death come from His own bride.
He, too, let His name be thrown,
    into dungheap piles of wanton stow.
And He sees me.
Out of this place,
    my Lord and Father hears me.
I will chase after You and trust,
    for hope that is seen is not really hope.
    And You are Hope.
My eyes do not see, 
    but my soul rejoices.
    --My mind not understand, 
       but my youth is strengthened--
I climb the mountain,
    and look back at the darkness.
Oh, how my soul cries,
that You save my children!
And let the liars and thieves,

see the hand of God.
Yes, teach them mercy with Your heavy fist.
Show them wisdom that is in Your breath.
And my honour will come,
on the day I see You.
Then I no other hope,
for all be seen and true.
Oh, what glory You have shown me!
And what else can my heart desire?
Though none understand,
You are not no one.
You are the One,
from whom my soul awakens.
You are the sunrise,
and the sunset.
You are the song,
and the wind.
You comfort my soul,
and cherish my name.
You hold my heart,
and 'ive peace to my stirring.
Thank you, Lord, forever plus one day;
All my years will never finish to say,
of the glory to know You've come,
in this place —without glory- and me.
Where everyone is left to not understand,
You have seen my sacrifice and smiled upon my land.
God, I am Yours as the earth is the morning sun's;
Bare and naked before Thee,
I cannot escape Your gazing.
Search me, O God,
and make me new.
Test me and break me,
until all that remains is You.

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