A journal in the month of September.
I don’t know if I am supposed to have more. No, I know I am not. To have is nothing. I have not this home, land, possessions, town, or friends. I have only the Lord, my wife, and children. And for them alone will I live and die.
It’s “peacetime” we must be afraid of; not war. (For never shall we experience true peacetime until we are with the Father.) Amidst war on earth, we have peace in our souls. Amidst peace on earth, we have complacency and slothfulness.
Our peace comes like a river; and it erodes, showers, and pulls down those around us. Many are caught in the wake of His glory that is upon our lives.
One of the greatest traits you can learn is how to appropriately respond to unmet expectations. In a culture which knows what to expect—how, when, why, and what they will receive—unmet expectations are a Godsend. Nature has no set rule. Crops die. Rivers diverge. Streams dry up. Seasons change.
Being far from cellular service and information is desperately needed in today’s climate. What will we become when nothing goes as we expected?
If we aren’t careful, what we expect will turn into what we think we deserve. That road leads to idolatry.
Who am I to see Your glory? Who am I to know how good You are? Who am I to be still in Your presence? Thank You, for the treasure and blessing of being alone with You again. Hush, my soul. Do not stir from this place. Teach me, O God, to shut my eyes and close my mind, that I would be still and know You are God.
I’m sorry, Lord, for growing anxious and worrisome. Yesterday, I took my life into my own hands again. And with it, a fear of man. I wanted to be shrewd and find the way to greatness. But it is not in me to succeed. Only in Your miracle. Desperate, I have come. Desperate, I will be. Desperate, I will go.
I do not think Pride defines an individual—for all creatures, great and small, are capable of this sin. It is merely Pride that reveals that which inherently fights against the soul of a man. I have said that my defining quality is passion. And that passion, when perverted, yields to two sins: the passion of lust and the passion of anger. But apart from that sinful nature—exhumed of the dead things and saved by grace—those things turn on their head; I am made devoted and fastened to my wife in a pleasure undefinable; I am delivered calm and caring to the world. My soul in darkness is fitful, angry, ugly, and insatiable. My soul in light is caring, slow, reposed and devoted. Furthermore, the man who succumbs to greed or lying, when transfigured by grace, will become generous and honest to a degree that others have never witnessed—this only by the grace of God and only by the submission of that white, hot exuberant light that both burns and replenishes. It is in the prophecy and honor of such an ugly individual that we see the transfiguration begin to take place. Those, Prophecy and Honor, do not see mistakenly—they merely see what one may become if one would sacrifice itself on the altar of Christ. Viz., Honor sees beyond the Now. It is the basis of Prophecy. To honor is to lift up high enough to see one in the light God initially designed it to be—high on His shoulders where they, like a prism, show the qualities hidden underneath the blackened mess. Fear becomes faith; worry becomes trust; lust to devotion; anger to gentleness; despondent to hope; macabre to laughter; anxiety to peace; greed to generosity; dishonesty to trustworthiness; kleptomania to recompense; covetous to gratitude. And this honor—this “lifting up”—is the only thing capable of bringing the light. It was Christ, lifted up, that shone the light on a world of blackness; burned and scorched it with white, hot glory; and by grace, those destined for glory repented into a life above, and those destined for darkness, shrank away below.
Honor reveals the nature of God in a man. Both in the individual giving and one receiving. Dishonor reveals the nature underneath, scared, broken, and in disrepair. Let loose the bonds of your voice and heart to cherish, uplift and celebrate God inside of us all. And by doing so, we shall reveal Him to one another.
Prophecy and Honor are very tied together. Prophecy sees the future and Honor drives it toward Heaven.
There is always a Remnant in the Church. As the generation of today becomes a Harlot, its offspring will crave authenticity and holiness. Help us, Lord. Help us want Your grace and beauty. Obedience is greater than sacrifice.
I have no control. And perhaps that is why I write—to control a narrative.
If we are to judge by the fruit, I wonder how much fruit can last on a tree that’s already dead. Help us, Lord, to uproot, find good soil, replant, water, receive Your shine, breathe Your breath, and live.
If you drink from a garden hose, you are pathetic. If you drink from the rain, you are desperate. So, dig a well instead.
If I am desperate and poor in spirit, I come to understand that none of this is my own—not my wife, my children, my home, my job, my calling. What a terrible word: My. Instead, the poor in spirit know He is all we need and everything else is subservient, given by Him to please me. If I hold them higher than Him, they must depart from my life. If I hold them lower, they bring their designed peace. It is in this place that I learn nothing is mine; therefore, everything is. He has given this world, these people, this air and this water. Today, I enjoy these roses on my front porch, but tomorrow I may leave to some far elsewhere. So, all is mine and nothing is.
The world is a delight when subject to God in my heart. It is a terror when exalted above Him.
On the mountain, I worship.
In the valley, I live.
When asked what we do all day, the Christ-follower’s response should never be “Staying busy” or some useless, pagan rhetoric like that; rather: “I take every moment as slow as Christ needs me to.”
Keith G. Alderman 